


These Days

by sg_wonderland



Series: Days series [5]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:59:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8141410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sg_wonderland/pseuds/sg_wonderland
Summary: Daniel struggles with his past and present





	

“So, Jack, tell me how Daniel is doing. No after effects of the accident?”

Jack laughed sharply. “I think he came through that better than all of us. And he was the most popular kid at daycare when he showed off his black eyes.” Jack stood looking out the office window. “He’s doing so well it’s scary. Never misbehaves, never raises his voice, never whines or talks back, and hardly ever cries.”

“He’s still testing his limits, your limits. When he feels comfortable enough to pitch a fit, we’ll both celebrate.” Dr. Bennett came to stand beside him, relishing the spring sun, as weak as it was.

“That just sounds wrong.”

“Not to Daniel. He still isn’t certain this is for keeps.”

“And he still thinks I’m just gonna leave him?”

“You have to remember, all he has to measure the present with is the past. Even though you’ve told him repeatedly this is permanent, it still hasn’t quite sunk in yet. So how did he react to his new room?”

Jack squirmed as he remembered that particular session, when Bennett had accused him of not accepting Daniel’s fate, by trying to fit this Daniel into his old way of life. He had used Jack’s reluctance to turn his guest room into Daniel’s room as a prime example.

“He shows it off to everyone who comes to the house. As for getting him his own telescope for Christmas, thanks for that little bit of advice.” 

They had painted the bedroom walls a sand color and the ceiling a beautiful deep blue that mimicked a night sky. The only change Jack hadn’t made was the bed; he’d left the full size bed for two reasons. First, it wouldn’t be that long until Daniel would outgrow a child’s bed and second, it gave Jack plenty of room when he read bedtime stories. “So, Doc, how do you think Daniel is doing?”

“I think he’s doing about as well as you can expect under the circumstances. He’s accepted that his parents are dead, although he won’t voluntarily bring them up. He realizes he’s not going to be magically restored to his grown-up self. I’m pleased that he’s bonded with your parents; that should be a big help. He appears to have made some friends his own age, and that’s another huge hurdle. Now, if we can just get him to accept childhood and enjoy it, I’ll be happy.”

“Me, too.”

*

 

“You rang, sir?” Jack strolled into General Hammond’s office, Daniel in tow.

“I did, Colonel. How are you, Daniel?”

“I’m fine, thank you, General Hammond. How are you?” One of the habits Jack hadn’t been able to break was Daniel’s strange formality even among those he should have considered family until he realized that it wasn’t formality to Daniel, it was manners. He had been raised around adults with whom he was taught to be polite. So Jack had quit trying to change him. Hammond remained General Hammond, Janet remained Dr. Fraiser, along with a busload of sirs and ma’ams.

“I’m just fine, son. I need the colonel for a minute, so why don’t you go with Lt. Harris? She can wait with you in the briefing room, if that’s alright.”

Jack nodded at Daniel’s questioning look. “I’ll be out in just a minute.”

Hammond waited until Daniel was out of earshot. “Kasuf dialed in from Abydos this morning, wanted to speak to Dr. Jackson. I put him off, told him SG-1 was off-world.”

“Damn. I don’t want to lie to Kasuf but how do we explain Daniel?”

“We can tell him that Dr. Jackson is missing in action. It’s a plausible story.”

“Like I said, I don’t want to lie to Kasuf. I think we should tell him the truth, but just him. No one else needs to know.” Jack glanced out the window to see Daniel standing on tip-toes trying to watch the gate. “Hey, we could take Daniel to Abydos; he’d probably get a major kick out of it.”

Hammond nodded. “Run it by Dr. Fraiser and see what she thinks. If she approves, I’ll send SG-3 to check it out before your team goes through, have them explain to Kasuf. I think you all deserve a bit of down-time, don’t you?”

*

 

There was no way they could get BDUs that would fit a five-year-old so at the mall Jack contented himself with a couple of pairs of cargo pants and the tiniest pair of combat boots he’d ever seen. 

And, of course, Daniel had to know what was happening. Jack waited until they were home before he sat him down and explained that they were going camping. “Camping?”

“Yeah. The thing is, we’re going through the gate to camp.” Jack had to smile at the expression on Daniel’s face. “There are some people who knew you before and they want to see you. You were very special to these people and especially Kasuf. But he’s the only one who’s gonna know the truth. The rest of the people on the other side will think you are Daniel’s son. And you can’t tell them any differently. You understand that?”

Daniel rolled his eyes impatiently. “I know that, Jack. It’s like the kids at day care, right?”

“Exactly right. But you don’t have to be afraid because these people love you. And we’ll be there with you, me and Sam and Teal’c and SG-3. And we’re gonna take a big tent and sleep under the stars.”

“Cool.” 

*

 

At Jack’s suggestion, Sam was wielding a video camera when Daniel came bouncing into the gate room, a miniature backpack strapped on and his rabbit tucked under one arm. “Are we there yet?” He shouted to no one in particular.

Jack had a sudden memory of Charlie’s first day of school and wondered if Sarah still had that video somewhere. He’d bet she did, as he grinned at Daniel’s enthusiasm before shouting back, “No, we’re not,” thrilled to see a rare, genuine smile on Daniel’s face. He held Daniel’s shoulders as the gate dialed, anticipating his backward jump at the kerwoosh.

“SG-1,” Hammond’s voice boomed from the control room. “You have a go. Have a good time. All of you.”

Jack made sure Daniel was securely between him and Teal’c as they strode up to the event horizon, Sam walking backwards recording the moment. “On three. One, two, three. And here we go!” They stepped through, holding tightly to Daniel’s hands. And the next step took them to Abydos.

*

Daniel was speechless for so long that Jack nudged him. “Oh....” was all he could get out. Jack led him down the steps and into the room.

“Greetings from Abydos, SG-1.”

Jack saluted back. “Thank you, Major. Secure the gate.”

“Planned on it, sir.” He grinned down at the awestruck child clinging to Jack’s leg. “There’s quite a few people out there, sir. I told Kasuf he needs to kind of hold them back, not come at the kid all at once.”

“Thank you, Major Thompson. Carry on.”

“Okay, Daniel, ready?” Jack clipped the little shades on Daniel’s glasses before they walked out of the entrance of the pyramid.

 

*

Kasuf was waiting at the top steps as they left the pyramid. “Daniel, you remember I told you about Kasuf?”

The older man dropped to his knee. “Good son, it is pleased I am to see you again.” Daniel’s confused eyes flicked to Jack’s for a brief second. “Although you have changed much, you will always be my good son, Daniel.” Daniel seemed to know what he needed, stepping forward into Kasuf’s embrace. Rising, Kasuf lifted him easily. “Come. There are many who wish to see the son of Daniel.”

*

Jack figured Daniel had been introduced to enough people so he suggested helping Teal’c find a place to make camp outside the city. Which meant it took him twice as long to pitch the tent as it normally would have but Teal’c took it in stride, as he usually did. He allowed Daniel to decide where his sleeping bag should go then made sure his would be between the child’s and the opening. Even on the relatively safe planet of Abydos, protecting Daniel Jackson was his number one priority.

“Teal’c?”

He contemplated the child sitting on the ground, slowly, methodically emptying his little pack. “Yes, Daniel Jackson?”

“These people here? They know me, right?”

“Indeed they do. The name of Daniel Jackson is revered by these people.”

He squirmed with embarrassment. “I kind of got that. But why?”

“Has not Colonel O’Neill informed you that it was you who taught these people to read and write, thereby freeing them from their oppressor?”

“Really? They couldn’t read or anything?”

Teal’c realized that this concept might be a bit hard for Daniel to grasp. “Come, Daniel Jackson, sit with me.” He waited until Daniel crawled over to sit in front of him. “The false god who oppressed these people used their ignorance to keep them enslaved. Do you understand why?”

He nodded. “It’s hard to enslave an educated people.”

“Just so, Daniel Jackson. So when you educated these people, you freed them. And you freed their children and their children’s children. You have changed the future of this entire planet. And that is why you are so very precious to these people. But I do not believe O’Neill brought you here to be so serious, I believe he intended for you to enjoy yourself on this trip,” Teal’c frowned at the child’s expression.

“It’s alot like Egypt.” He finally confessed in a low voice. Those eyes blinked rapidly and Teal’c couldn’t resist leaning over and sweeping him up in his arms. Teal’c found himself blinking as those tiny arms wound around his neck.

“It is not wrong to miss your home, Daniel Jackson, or to mourn its loss. No matter where I go, I always carry a part of my home deep within my soul. Doing so does not make you weak, but rather strengthens you.”

They sat like that until Daniel finally stirred. “Teal’c? Don’t tell Jack I cried, okay?”

“If that is your wish, I will so honor it. Shall we finish assembling our camp?”

*

Jack thought Daniel was a little pale, a little quieter than normal. Until Carter murmured something about the desert. Damn, Jack cursed himself. This had to be hard on the kid, reminding him of what he’d lost. Trying to appear nonchalant, he wandered over to where Daniel and Kasuf were in an apparently serious conversation about camels.

“I do not think it wise for you to ride, young Daniel. You are unaccustomed to this terrain.”

“But I rode in Egypt all the time. Maybe if someone rides with me. Please?”

“And I suppose that would be me.”

Daniel turned excited eyes toward Jack. “Would you? Uh,” he hesitated, those eyes becoming unsure, “have you ever ridden a camel before?”

“Hey, I’m insulted! I’ve ridden horses. How different can it be?”

Kasuf sighed. “I have no wish to return the both of you to General Hammond injured. Come, young Daniel, you will ride with me.”

*

Jack was glad again he had suggested the video camera, although he didn’t need it for himself. He was always going to be able to conjure up the image of Daniel with Kasuf. First, shrieking until Kasuf settled him, then laughing as the camel stood. It was the first time Jack could remember hearing the child laugh out loud.

*

It was an exhausted Daniel who finally gave up and collapsed on Jack’s shoulder by the firelight that night. The Abydonians and their guests had feasted and laughed and told stories until Daniel wasn’t the only sleeping child.

“Thank you, Colonel O’Neill.” Jack peered up to see Kasuf standing in front of him. “Thank you for bringing him to us. And thank you for taking care of him. I will rest easier now, knowing he is well-tended. When your Major Thompson told me what had occurred, I was very worried for my good son. I worry no more.” First, his hand, then his lips, rested briefly on a snarled head of curls. “Good-night, young Daniel. May your dreams bring you peace.”

 

*

Daniel was like a whirlwind the next morning. He bounded up from his sleeping bag, dressing quickly. “Jack? I’m going with Teal’c, okay?” Barely waiting for a reply, Daniel dashed out of the tent.

“Good morning, sir.”

“Carter, did a tornado just blow through here?” Jack was trying to get his eyes open, squinting at his watch.

“Yes, sir, I believe it was a tornado named Daniel. Kasuf has offered to take him and Teal’c for an early morning walk to watch the sunrise. I gave Teal’c the camera, I hope he gets some nice shots. I’m just going to check the perimeter, sir, take your time.”

An hour later, Daniel was back, chattering non-stop about the sunrise, the camels, the breakfast and life in general. It was almost, Jack thought just a bit sadly, like old Daniel was back, enthusiastic, vocal and energetic.

“Okay, kid, I’m ready, let’s see this breakfast you’re raving about. But I’m warning you, if it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, you’re gonna owe me a big, greasy, American breakfast. Your treat.”

“Jack, I don’t have any money.” Daniel explained seriously.

“Hmm, I guess you’ll have to owe me.” He let Daniel drag him from the tent.

“But I already owe you thousands of dollars.”

Trust Daniel to keep track, Jack thought as he grabbed him up and kissed him loudly. “Yeah, and it’s time to pay up, kid.”

*

“Thanks for the disc, Jack, that made my day.”

“You’re welcome, Dr. Bennett. I knew you’d get a kick out of it.” Jack tucked the phone under his chin as he followed a trail through the house, picking up a coat, backpack, boots, one in the hallway and the other inexplicably in the kitchen. Until Jack found the lid to a bottle of juice. Well, he shrugged, at least it wasn’t a beer. “So, how’d Daniel do today?” It was one of the few times Jack had been unable to take Daniel to his session so Janet had served as today’s temporary parent.

“You know Daniel, he still thinks this is some kind of a fencing match. There are times I appreciate his wit and there are times when I wish he weren’t so damn smart. I think I’m going to cut his sessions back to once a month. I’d like to give Daniel some space, maybe let him relax enough to drop the act. The worst part is he knows I’ve got his number.”

“This could get interesting.” Jack had to laugh. “I gotta tell ya, Doc, I’ve got twenty on Daniel.”

“I hate to take your money, Jack, but I’ve cracked tougher nuts than him before.”

*

He found Daniel and Janet in the den, playing something on the computer. “Hey, how’s it going?”

Daniel shrugged without answering. “Daniel, why don’t you play without me for awhile so I can talk to Jack?” She ruffled his hair as she led Jack out, closing the door behind her.

“Jack, I think..” The den door suddenly swung open and Daniel dashed past.

“Daniel, where are you going?”

“I’m going upstairs so you can talk about me in private!” The slamming of the bedroom door reverberated through the house.

“That went well, didn’t it?” Jack motioned Janet to the living room. “Something to drink?”

“Mm, please.”

“So, Daniel, today, session?”

“You talked to Dr. Bennett.”

“Yes, I did, and he still thinks Daniel is bluffing him. What do you think?”

“I think Daniel is far too smart for his own good. And you know how well he can work the system when he wants to.”

“I know how well my Daniel worked the system. I’m not sure about this Daniel.”

Janet shook her head. “Jack, no wonder Daniel is still confused, still trying to find his place. You still haven’t reconciled yourself to the fact that that little boy up there is Daniel. And until you do that, he isn’t going to be able to come to grips with who he is either.”

“So this is my fault?” Jack rose to pace.

“At least part of it, yes. Why do you think Dr. Bennett insisted on having sessions with you too?” She set her drink down, practically full. “Why don’t you let me take Daniel home with me tonight? Give you time to think, get some perspective?”

He actually considered it, but finally shook his head. “As tempting as that is, I don’t think I should. God, what a mess! I just wish I knew how to fix it.”

Neither of them saw a little boy sitting curled up on the top step, listening to every word.

*

“I’m just going to say good-night to Daniel then I’m off.” Janet slowly climbed the stairs. “Daniel? Daniel, where are you? Jack, is Daniel down there?”

Jack climbed the stairs two at a time. “You saw him go past you. He’s in his room.” He was trying hard not to panic. “Daniel? Dammit, answer me! Now!”

A quick search and Jack’s worst fear was realized. Daniel was missing.

*

“Shit!” Jack had scoured the neighborhood with no results. No Daniel. He had called Daniel’s phone repeatedly without an answer; he was grateful now Carter had talked him into letting the kid keep it. His heart leapt when his own phone rang. “Daniel?”

“Jack, I’ve just been through Daniel’s room. His backpack and his rabbit are gone.”

He hung up and dialed Hammond as he ran back to the house.

*

Jack was just preparing to call the base again when his cell rang. “Daniel?”

“Jack, we’ve found Dr. Jackson, he’s safe.” Hammond cut right to the chase.

“God!” Jack fell onto the couch. “Where the hell is he, sir?”

“He called here, asked to speak to Teal’c, who convinced him to tell him where he was. I diverted Major Ferretti to pick him up. I’ve spoken to Ferretti, Daniel’s fine, Jack. He’s tired and scared and he’s very confused. But he’s not hurt.”

“I’ll come get him.”

“Dr. Jackson seems to think you don’t want him. He asked to be taken to Teal’c and I think that’s a good idea. Give it some time, Jack. He needs the space and so do you. Ferretti assures me he’s fine. Get a good night’s sleep and we’ll see how he is in the morning.”

Jack slowly hung up the phone. “Well, I really fucked that up, didn’t I?”

“Jack, what happened?”

“Daniel informed the general that I didn’t want him and could he take him to Teal’c? That’s where he’s headed, back to base.”

*

And so it was that General Hammond found himself leading a sniffling five-year-old through the base. Teal’c was waiting patiently and efficiently undressed Daniel, slipping on one of his very large T-shirts before settling Daniel in the cot hastily placed in his room. He then followed the general into the hallway. “What is the nature of Daniel Jackson’s conflict with O’Neill?”

“Jack has forgotten that little pitchers sometimes have very big ears.” The general chuckled.

“I do not understand, General Hammond. Daniel Jackson’s ears appear to be perfectly proportioned.”

“Jack made the fatal error of talking about Daniel where Daniel could hear him. I foresee a considerable amount of apologizing in his future. Keep an eye on him, Teal’c. Good night.”

*

Teal’c was not surprised to be awakened shortly after retiring by quiet sniffling. He rose and picked Daniel up, blanket, rabbit and all. “Shh, little one. Go back to sleep.”

“Why doesn’t Jack want me?” The sleepy question nearly broke his heart.

“O’Neill does want you, Daniel Jackson. You must simply give him time to adjust. Do you not wish to go back to sleep?”

“No.” 

Teal’c smiled at the yawn in his voice. He shifted Daniel to his shoulder and paced the floor, gently rocking. “Go to sleep, little one, all will be better in the morning.”

“Mmmhmm,” came the groggy reply. Teal’c slowly sat on the bed, holding Daniel in his arms.

*

Daniel woke the next morning and found himself in a bed he soon realized wasn’t his own. Looking around, he recognized the simple furnishings, then spotted Teal’c seated at the table, engrossed in what looked like the morning paper. “Teal’c?”

He rose. “Daniel Jackson? You are awake. Would you like to freshen up before we seek breakfast?”

Daniel blushed. “I’m sorry, Teal’c.”

“I am unsure of the need for an apology.”

“For intruding in your home.”

“You are never an intrusion to me, Daniel Jackson. Colonel O’Neill stopped by to provide you with a change of clothing. If you wish, you may take a shower and then we will proceed to the commissary.”

*

Half an hour later found them in the commissary, selecting their breakfast items. That the staff doted on Daniel was immediately apparent, as one of the servers nipped out from behind the line to set up the booster seat for him. Daniel scowled at the pat he received on the head. “I wish people would stop doing that.”

“What, Daniel Jackson?”

“Treat me like a child.”

“You are a child.” Teal’c answered with unerring accuracy.

“But I don’t want them to treat me like that.”

Teal’c was a man of cunning perception. “Do you object to Colonel O’Neill treating you like a child?”

“He and Dr. Fraiser were talking about me like I was…invisible.”

“I, too, would object if I were treated in such a manner. However, you do realize they were only worried about you, that they merely had your best interest in heart?”

“I suppose,” he squirmed. “But that still doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Would you care to discuss that which you overheard?”

“Jack doesn’t want me.”

“Did O’Neill actually state that he does not want you?”

“He wanted me to go with Dr. Fraiser. He..he said I wasn’t his Daniel. He wants his Daniel, not me.”

“Daniel Jackson, you are O’Neill’s best friend. It is natural that he misses that connection.” Teal’c beckoned him closer. “O’Neill does not adjust well to change. I fear it falls upon you to be the adult in this relationship.”

Daniel looked unsure for a moment, then frowned. “I’m not sure I’m any more qualified to be an adult than Jack is. Um, did you say Jack dropped off these clothes for me?”

“I did.”

“Did he seem..upset?”

“He seemed quite concerned. But I assured him that you had slept most of the night. General Hammond has summoned him to his office. He asked me to tell you that you may go to the day-care center if you wish. However, if you wish to remain here on base, I and Major Carter can provide you with adequate supervision. It is your choice.”

*

“Jack, sit down. You don’t look like you closed your eyes all night.”

He flopped into a chair. “I just..I don’t know what to do. I would never hurt Daniel but I did. He heard me and Fraiser talking about him, now he thinks I wish I had the old Daniel back.”

“Well, do you?”

“Part of me will always miss the old Daniel, I have to admit that. By the time this Daniel gets to be an adult, I’ll be like his grandfather or something.”

“Jack, I’m no psychiatrist but even I can see that you’re treating Dr. Jackson like he’s two different people. Perhaps Dr. Bennett..?”

“Yeah, I’ve already talked to him. I’ve got an appointment this afternoon. Without Daniel, I might add. General, I don’t want Daniel living with anyone else. I want him home with me, where he belongs.”

“I think you’re saying that to the wrong person.”

*

Jack eventually ran his missing child down in Carter’s lab, watching her splitting atoms or plotting how to blow up a sun or something. He just stood in the doorway and watched them for a minute. Heads together, hair quite close in color, bent over something on the table, Jack could almost fool himself into thinking it was like old times. “Hey.”

Two heads shot up. Two pairs of blue eyes latched onto his. One with cautious curiosity, the other with blatant hostility. Well, he figured Carter had a right to be pissed, he’d let Daniel run away from home. “Sir,” her voice hovered a few degrees above frigid. Oh, yeah, highly pissed.

“Carter. Daniel, you okay?”

“Umm, yes.” Before Jack could form an apology, Daniel whispered, “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have left, I shouldn’t have worried you.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. But then I shouldn’t have been talking about you like you weren’t even there. So I apologize too. And for the record, I do want you, Daniel, I want you to come home tonight, okay?” Daniel just nodded without meeting his eyes. “I want you to know you can talk to me about anything, okay? But running away is not acceptable. Anyway, will you be okay here for awhile?” He nodded again. “I have to go see Dr. Bennett.” Daniel’s head shot up. “No, not about you, well, not just about you. I have to go get yelled at for letting you get so upset you ran away. Might not have any skin left when you get home tonight.” He’d hope to get at least a little smile, but Daniel just stared. “Anyway, Carter, can you bring Daniel home when you leave? See if Teal’c can make it and I’ll fix dinner. Sit down and eat together, be like old times. I’ll burn dinner, Daniel will complain about what a terrible cook I am, Teal’c won’t laugh at any of my jokes and Carter, you can just be your usual sweet self.”

“No problem, sir. Daniel was about to help me set up this experiment.”

“Nothing dangerous, I take it?”

“No, sir, we’re just experimenting with nuclear fusion.” She smiled sweetly at his expression. “No, sir, nothing dangerous at all. Teal’c or I will take Daniel down to day-care if he gets restless.”

“I won’t, I promise.” Daniel piped up.

“There you go. We’ll be fine, sir.”

Daniel gurgled when Jack snatched him up and squeezed him hard, whispering, “I love you, Daniel. You got that?”

*

“So Daniel overheard you talking about him and he ran away from home?”

“Yeah, that pretty much covers it and why are you smiling?”

Bennett leaned forward. “Jack, do you remember not so long ago I told you that we would celebrate when Daniel pitched a fit? Well, guess what? He just did it.”

“You knew he was gonna do this?”

”I didn’t think he would run away and I certainly don’t condone that. But he was testing your limits. He wanted to see if you would let him go, if you would come after him.”

“And I did.”

“And you did. You did just what he needed you to do. You worried about him, you missed him, you told him in many ways that he matters to you, that he is important. That’s all a child ever really wants, to know that they matter to someone, somewhere.”

Jack heaved a sigh of relief. “So I didn’t really screw up.”

“I didn’t exactly say that. But I promise you, what you did is fixable. You’ve already apologized to Daniel, that’s the first big step. Don’t talk about him to other people like he’s not even there, ever again, okay? Just because he’s a child doesn’t mean his feelings can’t be hurt. I don’t mind you discussing our sessions with Dr. Fraiser since she’s a doctor, just don’t do so in front of Daniel. But don’t talk about them to anyone else. What goes on here with you and Daniel is no one else’s business. Okay, end of lecture. Now, tell me about last night.”

*

Jack’s company was already at his house when he arrived with the groceries to construct his please-forgive-me, abject apology dinner. However, only Carter was in the living room when he entered. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“Oh, sir, let me help you with those.” She grabbed a couple of bags before following him into the kitchen. “So what’s on the menu?”

“The only American thing Daniel will eat.”

“Hamburgers.” She nodded. “Good choice, sir.”

“Hamburgers on the grill. The really expensive ice cream and a gooey chocolate cake.”

“Wow! Wish you’d hurt my feelings.”

“Didn’t know you had any, Carter. So, where’s my boy?”

“Teal’c requested that Daniel show him how he escaped from the house so he could prevent a repeat performance.”

“Good idea. How did the little devil get out, anyway?”

“Climbed out the bedroom window and into the tree.” She winced at his stormy expression. “Yes, I know, sir. It’s high. Teal’c has already read Daniel the riot act, but it probably wouldn’t hurt for him to hear it again.”

“Don’t worry, he’s going to hear it again. And again. And again.”

*

Jack had fully expected Daniel to be very quiet through dinner and he was. Afterward, the dishes done, the kitchen put to rights, the four of them sat down in the living room. “Daniel, we need to talk.” Sam started to get up. “No, you stay, both of you. I want you to hear this. Daniel, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you and I shouldn’t have talked about you where you could hear me. That was wrong, very wrong. Do you forgive me?” Daniel nodded. “I want to hear you say it.”

“I forgive you.” They could barely hear him.

“Okay. Now, I do want you here. This is your home as much as it is mine. So, no more running away. You could have gotten hurt or lost and that would have made all of us very upset. You should have come down here and told me and Doc to stop. So the next time I screw up, you can call me on it. You’ve got my permission.”

“Really?”

“Really. You’ve always been pretty good at jerking me back when I need it. So, keep on doing that, okay? I love you and I want you here. But if you need a break, you need some more space, you have to tell me that. I don’t read minds. If you need me to back off, tell me. Now, Dr. Bennett and I talked and he thinks we need to ease off on the sessions for a bit. Maybe just once a month for awhile. Is that okay with you?”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why does he want to not have as many sessions?”

“He thinks he might be putting too much pressure on you. And he doesn’t want that. So we’ll do it like this for awhile and see how it goes, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now, anything you want to get off your chest? Since we’re confessing here and everything.”

Daniel spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully. “I’m not invisible and I don’t like adults acting like I am. I know I’m a little kid and you can’t do anything about that, but I don’t always like being treated like a kid. And I didn’t like it when you wanted to let Dr. Fraiser take me with her. And I don’t like you calling me a mess you have to fix!” He ended with a definite pout on his face.

“I wasn’t calling you a mess, I was referring to the situation itself.”

“You don’t think I need fixing?” As always, Daniel struck him at his most vulnerable spot.

Jack hedged. “I think both of us could use a little work. Now, as for me letting you go with Doc, if you want to go stay all night with someone, like Carter or Doc or my parents, my letting you does not mean I don’t want you. I just think you might enjoy it. Didn’t you and Teal’c have a good time last night?”

Daniel tilted his head to the side, thinking. “It was okay.” He took a deep breath. “Jack? I’m sorry I ran away. I was just..”

“Testing your boundaries?”

His face flushed. “I guess, maybe I did want to see what you’d do. Not a very good idea, huh?”

“No, not good at all. We were very worried. If I’d gotten hold of you last night, I might have tanned your little behind. Fortunately, Doc and the general have cooler heads and they talked me out of coming to the base and getting you. I want you to know that there are people you can call. But I think you should come to me first. Promise me you’ll at least try?”

“Okay, I promise and I won’t run away again.”

“Fair enough. So, Carter, T, you have anything to add?”

“I have informed Daniel Jackson that I will be most disappointed if he runs away again and places himself in danger or worries his family. He has given me his word that he will no longer attempt to escape through a window. I believe he is most repentant and will endeavor to do all to please. If he does not do so, I ask you to inform me, O’Neill.”

Daniel didn’t seem to be at all taken aback by Teal’c’s assessment; instead he took it in stride. “Carter? You wanna add your two cents?”

“No, I think Daniel knows that he made a mistake and he’s very sorry.”

“So’s Jack.” Daniel pointed out with eyes overly wide.

Jack laughed. “Yes, you little scamp, I am sorry. I’ve been scolded by so many folks that I have boot prints all over my…butt.” Daniel’s eyes told him he knew exactly what he swallowed back. “Come here, Daniel.” Daniel scooted out of his chair and walked over, letting Jack pull him up on his lap. “Are we good?”

Daniel nodded. “We’re good.”

“Okay, enough with the serious stuff. Let’s have some cake.”

*

Jack thought they’d weathered that storm pretty well, so he wasn’t surprised when Daniel seemed to be a little more introspective. Shrugging it off, knowing Daniel would talk to him only when he was good and ready-because some things simply never changed-Jack waited patiently. 

So he wasn’t totally shocked when a week later he was in the den, balancing his checkbook when Daniel wandered in. A quick glance verified the appearance of the rabbit. Finally, he spoke. “Jack?”

“Yeah, kid?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

Jack took off his reading glasses and turned to give the child his attention. “I’m all yours.”

Daniel hesitated then blurted out. “Do you know where my parents are buried?”

In his wildest dreams, this was not the question he’d been expecting. He pulled Daniel up onto his knee. “Why?”

“I…I think I want to go see them.”

Jack’s initial reaction was an emphatic refusal. “Why?” He asked again, trying to stall.

“I need to see where they are.”

Jack was stunned, completely at a loss for words. So he took the coward’s way out. “Why don’t we talk to Bennett, see what he thinks? If he agrees, I’ll see what I can do. Okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered, making no attempt to leave Jack’s arms.

*

Jack should have known Bennett would agree to the idea. “The thing is, Doc,” Jack took the phone out on the deck, emphatically closing the door behind him. “I know how Daniel thinks. If he gets to go to New York, he’s gonna want to go to that damned museum, too.”

“That may not be a bad thing, Jack.”

“It’s an incredibly insane thing!”

“Jack, Daniel’s trying to move on, get past this. You either help him or you don’t. Either way, I suspect he’s determined to do this. You have a very determined little boy there.”

“And if I refuse to take him?”

“Do you want someone else to take him? No, I didn’t think so. He wants to see a tangible sign and for him, that’s their grave. You don’t have to spend hours there, Jack. He may be quite satisfied with merely seeing it. You have to let him do this, Jack.” His voice was soft, sympathetic.

“I just want everyone to know that I’m on the record as saying that taking a five-year-old to his parent’s grave is a very bad idea.”

“So noted.”

*

Jack snarled and complained and waded through vacation requests, plane tickets, hotel rooms, directions and truck rentals. Although he had several offers of company, he declined all. He wasn’t sure how much solitude Daniel was going to want or how cheerful either one of them would be. 

He was quite certain if he hadn’t agreed to take him, Daniel was completely capable of booking himself a flight and going alone. That wasn’t going to happen.

So they had a tentative itinerary. Flying out Tuesday morning, picking up the truck, checking in at The Gramercy Park, and heading for the cemetery in White Plains. Jack had booked three nights; if Daniel wanted to turn back around and come straight home, they’d do it.

He’d lied and told his parents that the trip was work related. And, of course, they’d insisted he go alone and send Daniel to them. Fending them off had proved nearly impossible and he only accomplished it by tentatively suggesting he and Daniel might be willing to stop in Chicago for a couple of nights on the way back home. He was leaving that decision up to Daniel. If he didn’t want to stay, they were headed home and his parents could just live with it.

Daniel had almost seemed relieved when Tuesday morning arrived and they were picked up by an Air Force driver to take them to the airport. Jack had always been a methodical planner, so nothing was left to chance and everything went smoothly. Before long, they were on the way to New York via Chicago.

By noon, they had arrived at LaGuardia, where they were met by an Air Force lieutenant who helped them gather their luggage and kept an eye on Daniel while Jack picked up the truck. She declined his offer of a ride with a smile for Daniel and a salute for Jack before walking briskly away from the rental lot. “Gotta love the Air Force.” Jack quipped as he spotted the booster seat already in the back of the truck. “Okay, big guy, hop in. Next stop, the hotel.”

There were several reasons it paid to stay at very nice hotels. And valet parking was one. Jack hopped out of the truck, grabbed Daniel and strolled in knowing someone else would handle luggage and parking. Check-in went equally as smoothly. Jack had deliberately picked The Gramercy Park. It was old and sophisticated and he thought Daniel would appreciate the architecture. He did, looking everywhere as they were whisked out of the lobby and into the elevator, where Daniel correctly identified a murmured greeting as being Italian-accented, thus entailing a quick conversation with the visiting businessman. Jack shrugged, only Daniel could land thousands of miles away from home, not know a soul and still have a meaningful conversation about who knew what. He’d always left the translating up to Daniel.

He was willing to play the rest of the day by ear. If Daniel was tired, he’d take a nap before they ate and drove up to White Plains. Jack fervently hoped Nick had done a better job for his daughter in death than he had ever done in life. 

Daniel swore he wasn’t tired, but Jack could see his eyes starting to droop. He smoothly suggested Daniel watch some TV in the bedroom while he made a few calls in the living room. Fifteen minutes later, calls completed to his parents and General Hammond, Jack slipped back into the bedroom to find Daniel across the huge bed, fast asleep. Turning the TV down on low, Jack covered him up and decided to order some coffee from room service.

*

Daniel slept two hours and was perturbed that Jack hadn’t woken him. By tacit agreement, they changed clothes while Jack phoned down for the truck, which was waiting for them as they exited the hotel. 

Two hours later, they’d eaten and arrived in White Plains. Jack found the city easy to navigate and located the cemetery with no trouble. Taking the directions with them, they set out to search for a specific plot.

“Jack.” He looked down at the child at his side. “Who does all this?”

Jack was puzzled. “All this what?”

“Keeping it pretty.” Daniel waved at the neat as a pin graves in front of them.

“I’m not sure. They mostly have caretakers do this.” He vaguely remembered something about that being in the total cost of Charlie’s funeral. Then he had a thought. “Daniel, I never thought to ask if you wanted to bring flowers. We could probably find a flower shop around here, if you want?”

He shook his head, a smile quickly coming and going. “Mom never liked flowers much. Allergies, you know.”

“So. That’s where you got it from?”

“Dad said it just took chocolate to make her happy.”

Jack ruffled his hair. “Something else you have in common.” He looked at his map. “I think it should be right here.” They stopped at a double stone, heart-shaped marble with the name ‘Jackson’ lavishly scrolled across the top.

Daniel knelt on top of the grave, reading the words aloud. “Claire Ballard Jackson. May 10, 1944-April 14, 1973. Melburn Jackson. October 29, 1939-April 14, 1973. Beloved parents of Daniel.” 

Jack found himself whispering a silent thank-you to Nick for the words. Finally breaking the silence, he stroked Daniel’s head. “You okay?”

He was silent for a long time before he finally whispered in a broken voice. “Do you think it hurt?”

Jack crouched down, cupping Daniel’s face in his hands. “From what I understand, it happened very quickly. I don’t think they felt anything. I don’t think they suffered.” 

“I hope not.” Daniel was blinking away tears. “I don’t want to think of them hurt.”

Jack just held him there while the sun shone on his parents’ grave.

*

Daniel cried himself to sleep in the truck back to New York, Jack driving with his left hand while his right hand circled a skinny ankle. He slept as Jack left the truck, carried him upstairs and put him to bed, while Jack called Dr. Bennett and then room service. As far as he was concerned, they weren’t going back out the rest of the day. Glad he’d brought some work with him, he settled down to wait for Daniel to wake up.

Daniel slept. Jack’s dinner came, was eaten and the dishes swept away. And still Daniel slept. Jack had already decided not to wake him to eat. He took a quick shower before quietly sliding into the large bed.

He woke the next morning with a rabbit in his face and someone breathing in his ear. Rolling cautiously away, he eyed Daniel warily. He was still pale, but he’d had a good night’s sleep. Get some food in him and maybe, just maybe, he’d be alright. He had reacted as Bennett had predicted yesterday when he saw the tangible evidence of a hard-to-ignore fact.

His parents were dead. Dead and gone and never coming back for him.

*

Daniel couldn’t be talked out of it. He wanted to go to the museum and nothing Jack could say would dissuade him. So off they went to see just where the tragedy that was Daniel’s life started.

Jack had always known how tough Daniel was, but he’d never really realized how strong he was. As a forty year old man or a five year old child, it seemed to make very little difference. He walked into that museum, his hand steady in Jack’s, stopped to read the map and proceeded to the permanent Egyptian display.

Jack wondered if he’d ever get tired of asking. “You okay?”

“They’re not here.” Daniel looked up at him with a puzzled expression. “I thought I would be able to feel them here.”

Jack led Daniel over to a small bench, holding him between his knees. “I don’t think we can find people who are gone in buildings or,” he hesitated before climbing out on that limb, “graveyards. I think we should look for them right here.” Jack tapped Daniel’s chest. “Don’t you think your parents are still here, right with you, when you remember your dad’s laughter or when you realize you have your mom’s eyes?” 

Daniel’s head tilted to the side, and then he suddenly smiled. “Like when I remembered about my mom not liking flowers?”

“Exactly. As long as you keep those memories alive, you keep part of them with you for as long as you want.”

*

That, Jack figured, was what you got for lying. Hammond’s call meant that the detour through Chicago was out; they were, instead, headed for DC. Since Jack was so much closer than Hammond, he had been asked to swing through and brief the President and the Joint Chiefs. The problem was what he would do with Daniel. In other times, Daniel would have been more than welcome in the sit room, would have been asked to participate in the briefing. However, in this incarnation, that simply wasn’t an option. As was leaving him with the hotel-provided sitter.

However, when Davis picked them up at the airport, he had a solution. While Jack was in the sit room, the First Lady was going to baby-sit.

*

“The President will see you now.” Jack stood up, straightened the uniform that had been rushed to him from Colorado, taking the time to look at Daniel. Whoever had thought of his dress blues hadn’t given any thought to Daniel. Oh, well, Jack thought, he wouldn’t be the first kid the President had seen in jeans and sneakers.

“Jack. Good to see you again.” Jack saluted sharply before taking the proffered hand. “And this must be Daniel.”

Jack kept his hand on Daniel’s back. “Daniel, this is President Ryan Hartman. Mr. President, Daniel Jackson.”

“Nice to meet you, young man. Are you keeping Colonel O’Neill in line?”

“I’m not sure that’s possible. It’s nice to meet you too, sir.” He blinked several times before observing. “You’re a lot taller than you look on TV.”

The President laughed sharply. “I get that a lot.” The door behind them opened. “Come in, Natty, and meet your date for this afternoon. Daniel, this is my wife, Natasha Hartman. You can call her Natty, she doesn’t mind.”

“Well, Daniel, I think we’ve been dismissed.” She took his hand. “Have you had lunch?”

“We ate on the plane, ma’am.”

“Hmm, let’s see if we can round up some real food. Colonel, nice to see you again. We’ll be upstairs in the living quarters.”

“Daniel, behave yourself.” He got a raised eyebrow from Daniel and an amused glance from the First Lady before Daniel was led away.

“I have to tell you, Jack, I figured it would take more than a five-year-old to clip your wings.”

“Oh, well, these things happen, sir. And he needs me.”

“Seems like a good kid, Jack.” Jack followed the President down the hall.

“He is, sir. Although there are times he can be a handful.”

“I’ve got three of my own, Jack, there’s absolutely nothing you can tell me I haven’t already seen.”

*

The briefing went on far longer than Jack was comfortable with. He was anxious to get back to Daniel; the kid had just had an emotional meltdown.

When they finally dismissed, a member of the First Lady’s staff was waiting to accompany him up to the living quarters. She confessed that the First Lady was dressing for an evening engagement. “I hope Daniel wasn’t too much trouble.”

“He was no trouble at all, Colonel. After lunch, he took a nap.” She paused, then smiled wickedly. “In the Lincoln bedroom.”

Jack stopped in his tracks. “The Lincoln bedroom?”

“Don’t worry, he took his shoes off first.”

Shaking his head, he followed her. Only Daniel could meet the President, have lunch with the First Lady and sleep in the Lincoln bedroom in the same day.

*

It seemed like months ago they’d left home, Jack thought as he turned the key in the door. Daniel trailed in behind him, dragging his backpack on the ground; Jack didn’t have the heart to tell him to pick it up. “Want something to eat?” Daniel never stopped, making the turn toward the stairs, his backpack thumping every step on the way up. “I’ll take that as a no, then.” Deserting his luggage and deciding to be as lazy as Daniel, Jack wandered into the kitchen, where he found a tin of home baked cookies with a note from Carter. ‘Colonel, sandwich stuff in the fridge, I did a little shopping for you. Kiss my best boy for me. Sam.’

There truly was nothing like family, Jack thought as he made a couple of sandwiches, one very hearty and one more Daniel-size, put the cookie tin and a couple of sodas on a tray and went hunting for Carter’s best boy. Only to find him sprawled face down, fully clothed, across his bed. “Here, sit up, Daniel, and eat before you go to sleep.”

“Don’t wanna,” came the muffled reply.

“You haven’t eaten all day. Come on, kid, at least a little bit. Carter left you some cookies.”

This failed to interest him in the least, so Jack yanked him into a sitting position and stuck half a sandwich in his hands, which Daniel brought to his mouth without apparent thought. He chewed for a couple of minutes. “I thought you said there were cookies?”

“After the sandwich. Here, take a drink.” Jack popped the top and handed him the can. He ate almost half the sandwich, which earned him a couple of cookies. Unfortunately, he fell asleep with the last cookie uneaten in his hand. “Okay, I guess that’s it for the night.” Jack set the tray aside, nipped the cookie out of his hand, stripped him to his underwear and stuffed him under the covers, remembering his glasses at the last moment. “And so ends another exciting day in the life of Daniel Jackson, world traveler.” Jack kissed him good-night, then on an afterthought, kissed him again. “There, that one’s from Carter.”


End file.
